Negativity: is it normality?

Been a long hiatus with my escapades in writing, more so with the writer’s block as I call it. Key reason essentially being shortfall for themes to describe. But only today did I feel the urge to pen down something, that not only intrigued me but also motivated me enough.

As I revive this blog from its morbidity, a few questions bemuse me recurrently.

Why does negativity attract us so much? Habit or joy?

Why do we elicit pleasure from gossip? Lack of topics or Revenge?

Why do we participate? To gel with norms or sheer sadistic pleasure?

Is it all out of fear and social compliance?

From news to coffee table discussions, negativity is all pervasive. After seeing people around me so unreasonably interested in this, I was coerced into thinking what triggers this behavior. And more so, what can we do to curb this.

If for once we convince ourselves that deviating our attention from negativity will create space for productive thoughts? That discussing and analyzing will lead us no where? That there is enough in this world to appreciate? Perhaps, we have never thought about this- because this is how we define normality. Or perhaps this is how the world operates.

But what if we pause and think, and rethink about our thinking patterns? Only when we realize that these patterns are wasteful, and deplete our energy, will we resolve to win over them. The next time when somebody alludes to the sad state of affairs, or sends across a message talking about all that is wrong these days, we can be an exception and resolve to pay little attention to it. Can we not replace it with something positive instantaneously (or at least neutral)?

We can wish for the day when we as individuals will strive for self-improvement, and not criticism.

And today, this very moment, at least resolve to pause before participating in these wasteful discussions.

“You may not be able to control negative thoughts from entering your mind, but you can choose to not let them control our lives”

Is it worth it? Really?

The silence of the night opens up all new questions. The questions that intrigue you but converge in a complete sense of oblivion. What would be there if not this? And even worse, why not this if this? In these scattered thoughts, random yet precise, I really feel, am I up for it? Life hasn't been fair lately, although I am still wondering what “fairness” implies. People, situations, events are a part of life, or are they life itself? And if this is life, then is fairness dead? These circles of dilemmas run into ever-expansive horizons, for the nature of life is mystery. And if it is so, it is all worth it?

To sum up, the things that happen in our lives, no matter how ‘’just’ or “unjust” they may seem like, happen for a reason. For all that happens in the world, happens in the mind. And the mind with its 6^th sense and intuition, knows what we don’t know and yet is a part of us. So is it situations that drive us, or vice-versa? Are we ever so helpless when approached with a certain set of circumstances, or their lies a power in us to etch out “our way” in the mess? It is the “heartbreak” that defines our life, or is it our interpretation of “a heartbreak” that does so?

It is extremely reassuring to assume that circumstances drive you, but it is even more gratifying to know that always and precisely always, you are above your circumstances. The world is replete with such examples, and all one needs is to open our mind, and interpret. There is a reason that life moves “forward”, no matter what happens. And if it was for learning, there couldn’t be a better example.

So, is it these questions that define our life, or our answers that do? To sum up, there may be a hundred answers to “Is it worth it, really?”, but it is yours and only your answer that matters.

All I wanted to speak about CAT

Around two and a half years ago,I got hold of a pdf from Pagalguy titled AIWTSAC-10.pdf, and read it all in a day without break. And that day I thought that one day I'll share my experience. It has taken me quite some time to come to this stage, but I finally have. The satisfaction is immense after accomplishing something that was a mere vision years ago.

My love with CAT got kindled after I fell in love with IIM-A. I wanted to be a part of this red building and spend two years of my life in this prestigious institute. I would lie if I say that the love was cursory. (My desktop wallpaper, my chrome homepage, my assortment of photographs etc. etc.) The preparation began on a high note. It was a dream, and CAT was my means. I joined CAT coaching to gear start my preparation, like everyone does. And it helped me a great deal in understanding concepts and not merely mugging them, a transition from formulas to logic.

And then I faced a lots of odds, dillemas and  tough decisions, but I was able to conquer every obstacle and come out well. (99.73%ile CAT) Now, the answer for this question, "How to prepare for CAT?"

1. Start by your fundamentals: This is a cliche, but as the saying goes, "the foundation of any building has to be strong". It pertains to both Quant and VA. I spent quite some time on this, and ensured that I knew my concepts to the core. This is the stage where proper coaching helps.

2. Start taking mock tests: There is a great deal of confusion about this aspect of preparation. An year ago, even I was brimming with a series of questions. But yes, mock tests do help, in their own way. Take every mock test as if it's your actual examination. I can still recollect the preparation I made before taking any mock. You have to be in a similar environment, and that is essential. And so does your time slots. Try to ensure that it matches with your actual CAT.And don't take tests for the sake of taking tests. These tests are not to tell you how good you are, but how you can be better. I used to spend hours analyzing these tests, and this analysis helped me taper down  my strengths and weaknesses. In short, it means that you should try to know yourself better. Try to perform better in every test you take, but don't get disheartened by a series of low scores. You are lucky if you are scoring low. You will know your scope for improvement. And I was not among the 99%ilers in mock tests, who boast their high scores on forums. Percentiles in mock are not a gauge of the actual CAT.

3.Overcome your weaknesses: I faced a lot of problems in VA. In spite of a good command over the language, I made a lot of errors. But then problems are meant to be solved, all it requires is perseverance.
Spend a lot of time knowing why are you making errors. It might take you weeks, but "DON'T QUIT". Immense help is available online these days. Try talking to people who have been in the same boat as you are. Spend a lot of time alone, and explore different ways. "Trial and Error" helps. In spite of Quant being my strength, I scored better in VA. But then who says, weaknesses stay forever. It is you who can transform them to your strengths.

4. Accuracy matters: I can really speak a lot on this. But all I need to mention is that I made just 40 attempts in CAT (18+22), which by all means is not a god figure. But I knew all along that these were error-free ones. Similar thing got replicated in XAT. Your performance hinges on ACCURACY. Anyway, the approach might vary in individuals, it being something highly subjective. But yes, it worked in my case.

5. The "C-Day": Go with a mindset that it is just another mock test. If you've been taking your mocks seriously, you won't face any problem in the environment as such. Get hold of your temperament. Life won't end if you don't make it. But give your best shot. Go with a fresh mind, adequate sleep and no pre-defined notions. CAT is notorious for throwing surprises. In my case, the difficulty surprised me. But then keep telling yourself that all these things don't perturb you. You can tackle any test: ; you have come well prepared.

6. Have Faith: I can't stress less on this. Have faith on yourself, and your abilities. Your past doesn't matter. All that matters is that you have an opportunity open. And it depends upon you as to how you grab it. It's certainly not easy, but then it's an adventure. With every small success you'll feel the enthusiasm. If you ask me, I still feel that those prep days were the best time of my life. My life had a purpose, an ambition. The people who have made it, are one amongst you. They aren't equipped with special abilities. No matter how mediocre you think you are, you can still bell the CAT.

And now for all those future CAT takers who are reading this, I wish you all the best. I have always been a silent reader of forums, and I wish that even my experience helps the people who will be taking the hyped exam in the years to come.

"Nothing can stop you, except you, yourself"

And now for your information, I have made it to FMS (It's not IIM-A, but a red building,nonetheless)

The dilemma: Can you?

Finally, today I have the time to pen down anything except B-school essays. We have all heard the saying, "forgive and forget", which is easier said than done. While I am a staunch follower of this adage, there are many who aren't. And is it really worthwhile to be it's adherent? If yes, can our society survive? Let's look at it from all perspectives.

Let's commemorate our childhood days with the circadian "katti" and "abba". No matter how angry we get at the first instance, we were eager to vindicate the culprit, who once broke your pencil, stole your eraser, or even laughed at you. As we got mature (or let's say immature), we could define "revenge" and "avenge", not only in our english exams but also real life. Violent activities become an everyday occurrence in classrooms.Imitation of your favorite wrestling superstar, your favorite movie star etc, becomes our passion, the raison d'etre.

However, this is one side of the coin. There are many who are born in poor families, where fight for food continues from dusk till dawn. Anti-social activities emerge as side effects in the struggle to be the part of the society. Can you forgive someone who stole your food while you're starving? Yes, idealistically feasible, pragmatically impossible!

In the journey towards maturity, we encounter people, who are dissimilar. Their opinions, values, beliefs, experiences and circumstances form a unique set. And so we indulge in quarrels, which is nothing but "difference of opinions". "Right" and "Wrong" become too subjective concepts to deal with, with a wide chasm, the grey area. But now unlike childhood, redressal can tend to infinity. (We are mature people now)

And finally, there is the side of  corrupt people, criminals and terrorists.Can you forgive someone who took thousands of innocent lives? Or someone who acquired thousands of dollars by unjust means? Or someone who is a rapist?Aren't they still a product of their circumstances? Don't they deserve a second chance or do they??

In this war between should and should not, we forget that life is too small for us to hold grudges. Nobody would want to leave this world with regrets, the "what ifs". Not forgiving someone implies carrying that "extra baggage", which in due course of time will daunt you. Sometimes, all we require is to be a child again.

However, the people who break law must be punished, for it is a deterrent. But it still is a short-term deterrent. We need to get these people rise above their circumstances, by building their value systems, and aiding them to have a life that frees them from the vicious struggle for survival. This might seem unrealistic in the present context, but each of us can contribute in a small way in making growth inclusive and not individualistic.

We have the chisel, to shape our life and the life of others. The next time, someone says, "you're wrong", just remember that there is no absolute right. The beauty of life is in the challenges it poses. What if we are different!! We are unique :)

PS: "When winds blow, some make walls and others wind mills"


    

The omnipotent: Ambition

If asked the reason for my inactivity in this blog and possibly everywhere else, my long hibernation, or perhaps my aloofness, all I can say is that my ambition caught me. Simply put, when majority of your thoughts are directed towards the ends you want to meet, when all that you explore are ways to meet it, when people start calling you obsessed,  and when you have something to prove to yourself, then my friend, all I can say is 'Bon Voyage'.

Ambition is something triggered my events in your life, small or big, which then gradually shapes into a desire. Activities, events, people, all get aligned to this, and then 'things start turning your way'. But then, don't expect that the route with be smooth, but it will certainly satisfy your quench for thrill and adventure. Obfuscated aspects of your personality stare you in the eye. There can't be a better way for self exploration. The pain of sacrifices, the pangs of frustration and the gravity of the risks will no longer poke you. Days and nights glide, minutes to hours, hours to weeks, weeks to months, and you strive tirelessly, with your storehouse of energy. There is no anticipation of success and no fear of failure. All you do is etch out ways to outperform yourself, while nearing the finale. 

You end up doing your best, free from "what ifs, buts". The satisfaction is bountiful, the happiness is immense, and you rise in your own eyes, by leaps and bounds. History holds many such examples, of people crossing their limits in a quest of what their limits are. 

And as karmayoga puts it, "You do your duty, god shall do the rest". Nothing will be able to efface this experience. You will emerge stronger, if not a winner. The meaning of your life is revealed in the moments you spent defining it. Your actions define your life and your ambitions defines these actions.

Have an ambition! Rise to your potential !

PS: There is a perfect match between what you are, and what you had thought you would be.

  

I wish I were..

Ever looked at someone and pondered, and thought that I wish I was like him? Or saw something, and said I wish it had belonged to me? Man is a self-centered individual guarded by avarice or cupidity nonetheless. There lies a thin line between your ambitions, your longings and envy, the menace of all ills. With the passing time, I have infallibly acceded to the tautology, “God has made you great, and you are the best as you are”. It doesn’t mean acceptance of mediocrity or a sense of complacency, but satisfaction, the antidote of jealousy.

Let me recount my childhood experiences. Whenever I saw a Barbie, all I said was, “I wish I were so pretty”. With each passing day, objects of envy changed. I had always longed for whatever I didn’t possess. I envied people who were better than I, but in a way I appreciated them. I always wanted to be the way they were. What started as objects changed my perspective of seeing life. Running after what I didn’t have took its toll on me, it was a cascade of wishes, one went, and another emerged. It was a cycle extended to infinity. But then time changed me.

Just to share, there is a story someone told me. A man was sitting under a tree, and a person came and told him not to vile away his time but work. It goes like this.

 Man: “May I know why?”

 Person: “If you work you’ll earn money.”

Man: “Then?”

 Person: “Then you’ll be rich famous and successful”.

Man: “Then?”

Person: “Then you can get married, have a family”.

Man: “Then?”

Person: “Then one day you can retire and relax”

Man: “I was relaxing already until you came and intervened.”

The short and simple moral goes like this. What you always want is what you already have. It’s just that you need to introspect, look inside yourself and find a hundred reasons to be happy for. God has made you a different individual, unique in all ways. And so, you are not an object of comparison. (As the cliché goes, “One can’t compare apples to oranges”) Just sit back and think that the things you envy were what you had never really wanted.  The glimmer or the glitter fades. It’s just the gold that remains with the tides of the time. Dream big, aspire for bigger, achieve the biggest, but don’t envy what you don’t have. May be it wasn’t meant for you.  Whenever you see someone, don’t envy his attire, his achievements, or his possessions.  If you anxiously want to be envious of something, envy their smile because it certainly means you’ve lost yours.

“There’s no bigger possession than you, yourself”.

Open your eyes...

It's been long since I've posted anything on this blog, not because I was addled what to write but because I was addled what not to write. Excess of everything is bad, the cliche stands true again. I'll write on everything in the most precise details, but you'll have to hold on. Too much of data leads to an overflow.

Life is one of the most complex plans, it's architect being god. It's given on lease, and you can do anything with it, as you please, when you please, how is please. (PS: i am not a promoter of fatalism). But as perennial  overlookers to life's best gift, we run a hare's chase, our ego being the forerunner, envy our fuel, and reputation being the ultimate destination . Lately, I have had many instances to substantiate the same. After being on a small getaway a midst the hills, these two little children transformed my outlook, and left me in profound introspection for the times to come.
These two children approached us selling berries, an exquisite fruit in the hills of Uttrakhand, cherished by humans and bears alike. Deciphering my words, they got those berries from deep within the woods, when you know a bear can come to you to snatch your life itself.  But when my eyes met theirs, I saw a gleam unmatchable, something never seen in our fast and furious lives. For a mere ten bucks, they took danger as an adventure, threat as a thrill and berries their profession. Deep within, they accepted simplicity as life. For them life isn't a top notch college, a highly paying job or an ever increasing bank balance. For them it's the thrill of going hunting together, getting some bucks for well, a satiated life above all. They teach us lessons even big spiritual gurus can't, which can't be parts of consecrated management or self improvement texts.
For them a couple of extra bucks means loads of happiness, for us these bucks mean a 'load', in the literal sense. For them holding hands means compassion, for us it's a gesture in meetings and conferences. For them running means adventure and thrill, for us it's anxiety.
The meaning of words and gestures is contrasting, within a distance of miles.
Just to sum up, There exists a life beyond a 9 to 5 job, a life beyond the limitless desires, a life beyond our wit's end. For whenever you say, "I wish", just think, there exists a life, deep inside the woods, where two children sell berries.